Old and stale

Slept like a sleepy log except for a disturbing dream about rape. Got up, marveled that it was five pm, wondered if my children were still alive and why they were being so quiet. Noticed I was no longer sick to my stomach or plagued by a headache, but was very dizzy, the way your ears feel when they need to pop.

Peed, brushed teeth, went to check on kids, who had somehow managed to survive the day. They accomplished this by sleeping through it with me. S and K had just gotten up and J wouldn't get up for another half hour. This is not great, but hell, it's vacation and it is better than the fantasy I had: I saw them playing together, loving and laughing like happy little lambs until I left the room, and then they tried to tear each other's throats out.

Heh.

Got them fed, showed my husband the VERY odd e mail I got saying a deposit to an account I did not open may have been made fraudulently and they were freezing the account until they could sort it out. Laughed nervously. Ha ha. Checked with bank to make sure our checking and credit card accounts had not been used for anything nefarious.

Since I was feeling dizzy and stuffed, I decided I HAD to use the next few hours gathering the old clothes we have outgrown to take to Goodwill. Did this, and promised my son that I would buy him a milkshake if he would write 'altruistic' and 'philanthropic' ten times each and could use each word in a sentence. He laughed nervously, ha ha and let me know that while he appreciated my attempts to broaden his mind, he was hoping I would settle for his giving a definition for 'awkward', as he knew that one. I said sure, having intended to buy the shake anyway.

I wrote 'cough syrup' on my hand so I wouldn't forget to pick it up for my husband. The oldest, youngest and I love to drive about late at night, but the middle hates it, so she stayed home while we went off in search of the nearest Goodwill. Dropped four bags outside the doors, hoping a homeless family would find it before the employees did. Then we drove all the way to the other end of town to find the all night drug store. Time to touch up my roots.
On the way, I mentioned that they needed to enjoy this shake, as it would be their last for a while. I had decided that we ate too many unhealthy things, I said, and it wasn't good for us.
My son, Goddess love him, said 'Ok for you, but why us? We're still young and fresh'.

He laughed nervously as I laughed and began reaching behind me for any exposed piece of his young and fresh flesh.

We drove thru Carl's Jr., and sat in the parking lot where the sprinklers were on. The wind was whipping the spray into a frenzy and it was a lot like sitting in the rain. It was also a lot like a free car rinse.

Drove to drug store, got hair color I thought would most closely approximate the blond it was the last time I could afford the hundred bucks for the weave. Also picked up a carton of egg nog for son, some snacks for drive to my father's tomorrow. My son loves egg nog, and he always mourns the end of the holidays when it disappears from the shelves.

Paid for purchases and tried to ignore shrieks from behind me of the two children who were trying to kill each other to prevent one another from reaching past the other for the videos they were looking at. Insisted they were not mine when the cashier gave me a look and said some people should not be allowed to have kids.

Grabbed my stuff, wished the clerk a good night and separated my children from each other and the videos, telling the clerk I was going to go find their mother. Clerk laughed nervously.
Got kids in car. Filled up gas tank, drove home. Unloaded kids and bags. Went inside, gave middle girl her candy cane (ala cindy lou who), tucked oldest in bed, and got back into car to get the cough syrup for my husband.

Came home, nervously put dye on hair and hoped it wouldn't turn out too light. Sat down to write this entry, and then rushed into bathroom to wipe dye off eyebrows, preventing their getting too light and noticed very bright red roots.

Urgh.

What the fuck. Shit happens, after all. What will be, will be. All will be well, all will be well and all manner of things will be well. Worse comes to worst, I'll re-dye it darker.

Well... off to rinse. Pray for us now and at the hour of our shampoo.