None of the people all of the time

A Declaration Is Issued Henceforth:

I am a miserable bitch. This really upsets people who expect better of me but delights people who knew it all along.

I am a wonderful friend. This really upsets people who know I am a miserable bitch but delights people who are my friends or who secretly want to be.

I am a great mom. This really doesn't upset anyone because the people who think I am a miserable bitch don't believe it but it delights everyone else who knew it all along.

No, wait - it does really upset my mother.

I am a funny, talented woman. This really upsets people who don't like me because they don't want to admit there is anything about me that is good but it delights the people who benefit from it and knew it all along.

I lie when it seems like a good idea. This really upsets people who like me because they want to be able to trust me but it delights people who hate me and like seeing evidence of their good sense.

I have a pretty hot sex drive. This really upsets me but secretly delights me.

I hate sex. This really upsets me but secretly delights me.

I do not always like the people I love most. I do not always agree with the people I love most and I do not always disagree with the people I like least and I am hesitant to say so to either group.

I have had it up to here with playing Twister trying to make everyone either always approve of me or always hate me. To hell with you either way, I belong to me. You don't have to approve of every move I make, you don't have to hate everything about me. But I am going to do what seems like the best idea to me at any given moment and own it and let the chips fall where they may. If our relationship is so fragile it can't take momentary disappointment, well, you knew it all along, didn't you?

Heh.

And if you hate me and you find yourself agreeing with me please do not see this as an opportunity to try to mend fences or build a bridge or find common ground. I am not one of those people who will forget years of nastiness. If we've been at odds for years and we find ourselves in agreement on one point, it doesn't erase all that came before and it doesn't make it all better.

I belong to me. I won't sell out what I believe or feel to get you off my back and I won't do it to keep a friend.

So there.