Currently This

(an oldie but oldie from '02.  you guys
are stuck with old crap cause i'm trying to get some sleep.  shhh.)


10: 59 pm, my room, where I am cleaning. Enter youngest daughter.

YD: Mom, how come Brother gets to stay up and watch tv after we do?

Me: Because he won't sleep in his own room. He has to sleep with us in ours, so he is in here when I am watching tv.

Son laughs maniacally.

YD: But that's not fair! Can I stay up just another half hour to watch 'Some Program Which Will Rot My Brain'?

Me: No. But if you want to give your room to your brother and sleep in here with me, that's ok.

Son laughs maniacally.

Oldest daughter enters the room.

YD: Sister! Don't you think it's not fair that we don't get to stay up and watch tv when our brother does?!

OD: No. He doesn't have a room and we do. I made peace with it a long time ago.

YD fills the air with shrieks of outrage.

YD: But...but...you have to be on my side!

Son laughs maniacally.

YD: He's laughing at me!

Me: So am I.

Son and I laugh maniacally.

YD: Sister, don't you want to stay up and watch TV? 
 
OD: Nope. I'm the Good One and I trust my mother's wisdom in this. If she says we shouldn't watch tv after 11:00 on a school night, I trust that she is doing what she feels is best for us and I wouldn't dream of going against her wishes and possibly subjecting us both to something that could be harmful.

I reach down and wipe OD's saliva off my butt.

Son laughs maniacally.

YD: Mom, he's laughing at me!

Me: So am I.

Son and I laugh maniacally.

YD: Ok, could I have just an extra half hour? Just till my nails dry?

Me: No.

YD: Ten minutes, then?

Me: No.

YD: Five?

Me: No.

YD: Three? Just THREE? So my nails will dry?

Me: No.

YD: Well, what am I supposed to do after eleven?!

Me: Sit on your bed and ruminate over how stupid it was to do your nails so close to bedtime?

Son laughs maniacally.

YD glares at her brother.

OD: Mom, are you guys done? I wanted to ask you something.

Me: Yes?

OD: I wanted to know if it would be ok if I watched 'Little Rascals Go To Hell' in my room, tonight.

I look at the clock, and note that it is 20 after 11. I still feel her saliva on my butt.

Me: Weren't you the one who just got through saying you understood the rule about not watching TV after eleven?

OD (with sheepish grin): Yeesss....

Me: Ok. You can watch it.

YD's eyeballs fall out of her head and roll about on the floor.  

YD: WHAT?! How come SHE....

Me: Just joking.  

YD laughs maniacally as OD tells me she doesn't think that was funny.

Me: If you two aren't in bed in one minute, you both have to go to bed a half hour early tomorrow night.

Exit both daughters in record time.