Currently This

I'm feeling futile and impotent. I'm tired of a world or fate or God or whatever that's out there deciding who gets to be hurt and who goes by unscathed. I'm tired of feeling like I have no control, no power, no influence in the things that are so important and I'm worried about missing the influence I have in the other so important things that tend to get ignored. I worry about what I miss seeing when I'm so focused on other stuff.

I have good kids. I have smart, decent, funny, moral kids who care about other people and the world around them. Why would the world want to make life harder for them? Why not go after some useless nothing of a person who offers nothing, will never contribute anything, someone like Paris Hilton? Why can't she be sick? Why can't she have challenges? Why aren't the people who make the world a better place given a get out of jail free card for pain and suffering and the Paris Hiltons handed all the shit work?

These people are going to make your world a better place. They already do, you just may not know it yet. Maybe you haven't met them. Maybe you see them but don't spend time with them. One day, my children are going to brighten your world, even if you don't know who it was that turned up the lights for you. Get off their backs, world. Show them kindness and love and laughter and health because they deserve it, and I need some time off to focus on all the good things.

If you can't do that for me, help me to be a good enough person to show them how to see the good stuff even if other things suck.