Currently This

It's been a long time since I wrote here. I know, that happens a lot. I disappear for months at a time then come back, contrite but filled with stories of what I was doing or why I wasn't doing it. Maybe I have pictures.

Things are different, now. Something has shifted. Not in a tectonic plate way, more subtle. It isn't that I don't know what to say - I even know where to start - I don't know. I don't feel like the same person. I feel narcoleptic and when I'm awake, I feel more aware of things around me. Maybe that's why I keep falling asleep, but I've never been one for inaction. Anytime something happened in my life, I've countered it by doing something. Cleaning, designing, creating, making phone calls, being proactive. Not now. Right now, when I don't have to be awake, I'm asleep.

I'm sure it's a response to shock. Been in overdrive for months.

It started in June, when I almost died after the surgery. Then I adopt a sick cat who later turned out to be pregnant, and the battle over the kittens has been something of a strain on the old marriage. Shortly after, my son was denied SSI benefits and we have to fight the state, but first I had to convince a lawyer to take our case. In October I was betrayed by someone I thought was a friend and my sister's home burned to the ground in that Sylmar fire, with all her cats in it. The stock market crashed and took our savings with it . . .

. . . it's been a weird season.

More later. I'll probably add stuff I wrote about it later. Till then, feel free to peruse the wonderful new widgets to the left over there.