Currently This

Oh, so I said the doctor is cute. I'm married. I would never in a million years break my husband's heart, certainly not for a cute Russian doctor (with hair any woman would scalp him for) who is himself married. If Harrison Ford rode down here in his leather jacket, tipped his fedora to me and offered to take me away from it all, I'd have to deny him (he's still sexier than most men in their thirties, if you're willing to overlook the perplexing attraction to Calista Flockhart, who must have a really good personality because as an actress, she's fluff.)

Shoot, now I'll get a note from Harrison telling me to "fuck off" because I said his wife was fluff. I'm sorry, Harrison, but she is - it's not like her star turn in "The Birdcage" broke any emotional ground. But ok, I apologize and hold no grudge. If Malibu gets hit by a giant tsunami, I'll zip on over in a motorboat and get the family and I'll be nice to Calista, ok? I'll try to delve the depths of the "Dancing Baby" bit, which I'm sure will one day hold great historical significance, if only as one of the first viral videos. I'll ask what it's like to be one of many actresses to do Laura and I won't chuckle when I think of the local radio station that held a food drive for her.

But I digress.