Currently This

I do not get along with my ex-husband's family. Living in the house with my ex are his mother, his stepfather, the brother who has been in and out of jail for drug possession and auto theft, etc; a sister who has been in and out of jail for theft, shoplifting, prostitution and possession of cocaine with intent to sell.

The other sister is one of those women who believes 'birth control' means getting an abortion every time you get pregnant. Her daughters (who also live in this circus) have different fathers, and I don't think the mother is really sure who they are. She drinks too much, steals too much and just got out of jail. She dumps the kids off with her mother who refuses to kick out the grandfather even though he molested both of HIS daughters (part of our custody agreement is a restraining order preventing the man to be in the vicinity of my kids) and he is violent. He has a gun case with about sixty five different guns he likes to wave around when he gets pissed off or drinks. Social services has been called to no avail.

I don't get along with the family and they don't like me very well, either.

But I adore my nieces. I really do. My first experience of caring for a newborn was taking care of my niece when I was about five months pregnant with my oldest child. I would cheerfully snatch them if I thought I could get away with that, because I truly believe they are not going to survive that place emotionally.

Because I don't get along with their family, their visits are fairly infrequent, but on the most recent one both girls were over here playing with my kids. My youngest daughter had fallen and hurt her ankle and I was propping her up on pillows, etc, giving cuddles and oohing and ahhing over her hurts when I glanced over at my oldest niece and saw her crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said she wished her mother would hug them, too.

I could cheerfully have shot her mother right then. How wrapped up in your crap do you need to be to not notice your kid needs a hug? How can anyone have a child who cries for needing to be held? I just don't get that. Yes of course I know there are horrible parents out there who leave their kids crying for far more monstrous reasons than lack of cuddles, but for god's sake, I just don't understand how it happens. I can't imagine my children ever wanting for lack of my love. I hug them constantly, tell them I love them over and over again in the day. All day. They probably wish I'd get another hobby already.

I empathize with my niece, and of course I held her and hugged her and reminded her that she would always, always have a place in my home if she needed it. And one day she might. And she really will have that place and I will hug her and tell her I love her till she is sick to death of listening to me.