What's on my mind these days:
- Gaining back the weight I lost
- My kids
- Fear of doctors
- How to define myself or whether it is possible to have definition at 42
- Finding a decent pair of banana yellow pants
- Is it bad to design your wardrobe around jewelry you haven't made yet?
- Paying for college
That's the shit you'll read if you stay around much longer. If you don't want to listen to me ruminate and whine, leave. Find a place that fits your need or better yet, make your own place. I don't have the energy to talk about things that don't matter to me.
Also, I'm not talking about you. If it seems that way, that I am addressing YOU personally, that I have found an insight into the very depths of your soul no one ever has before or, conversely, that I have gotten you completely wrong and you feel a need to write to tell all about it, don't. I barely have a handle on me sometimes. I have none on you.
A few years back, when I got cancer (pre-cancer, cancer larvae, call it what you want), I wrote all about it on the blog. I got a lot of e mail from readers telling me that they were inspired to go get checked and they were either ok or not and they owed it to me for inspiring them to go find out. I was glad I was able to help people but no one owes me anything and you know what? I don't owe you.
I don't have the answers anyone is looking for. I don't have the missing piece of your puzzle. I would help if I could, but I don't have what you need. If something you read here resonates with you and you want to say so, ok. I probably won't answer anymore. Not because I'm mean or don't like you and not to confirm to you what you already think about yourself, but because answering people personally took too much out of me emotionally and is a large part of why I stopped writing online altogether.
So - read if you want, mouse your way somewhere else if this isn't your cup of tea and no asking me to save your world. Oops- one other small thing. If you see me offline, don't mention the blog or anything you read here. I don't do talk offline, either.
