Four bits of good news: My vacuum turns out to have a fabulous warranty and will be repaired free of charge. I did get a new camera (what a toy!) and my new computer appears to be healed. The last of that mess is just the business of reloading drivers and software. The bunny is healthy as a very small and soft horse with very long ears.
I don't mean to thumb my nose at this happy turn of events, but the one thing I most want fixed hasn't been and this, as far as I am concerned, puts to rest the argument about intelligent design. Nothing intelligent would have designed a scenario where my daughter still hurts.