At first I thought they were a homeless couple, but maybe not. Maybe just hanging out at the park. The photo works better if they're homeless, though - doesn't it? There's a romance that seems diminished without the painful struggle.
I've been working steadily for the last nine months. It's the longest I've been able to hold a job for years and I'm very good at what I do. I've gotten so good that my boss has essentially handed one division of his company to my watch and I'm just loving it. Not the minutiae of it, but the competency. I've been battling impotence for so long - not being able to make my son whole, not being able to make my daughter's pain stop - I had forgotten what it felt like to be able to make something happen.
Too, I had forgotten what it was like to think of my own worth. For more than twenty years, my self worth has been wrapped up in my performance as a mother and I have judged myself very harshly. Suddenly, there's another measuring stick and while I'm not quite ready to stop castigating myself over the ways I have been unable to help the kids, I am ready to note that I deserve more money for what I do at work.
